Saturday, June 30, 2012

Change & Choice

I have had an extreme amount of mounting personal thought going on for the better part of this year. I have thought, re-assessed, talked, asked, urged, and repeated the cycle over. I had to make a change this I knew, with this change would have to come a choice. This change would not be an easy change, it would be a dramatic change, that would change our family structure forever...

I do not like conflict, but I am in constant conflict with my natural being. I have been stringing along waiting patiently for an integral person to change on his own in my life. Before I said I do, we made a blueprint together that would have given everyone a shot at their dreams. Until he changed the blueprint by not following it and changing it without even talking to me. He made our life considerably harder and hardly has anything to say about it. I have talked, listened, suggested, and to no avail got no where.

I made a choice, a choice I never thought I would have to make. A choice to tell him where we stand, a choice to tell him how I felt about his dishonesty, his selfishness, his choices he made for himself that drastically changed our lives. I asked him to do something about it. I keep on waiting and before I know it he does more to drastically hurt that foundation. He is a good person, but he has made choices that are not beneficial and I sit here and try to hold it all together. However, over the course of the year the answer was becoming clearer.

I do not like ultimatums, but I pulled one out last night. I have given him chance after chance and I have no more of me to give. He gives nothing back to our family. He hasn't changed for his own well being, he refuses to grow. Therefore I made a choice to implement plan B. If he can grow, if can produce a miracle than we can stick with plan A. Right now my heart is so broken from all of the details I wont put here and I cannot trust that man anymore. I told him he had until February and then I would file for divorce. I told him he needed to re-evaluate what he wanted from this marriage and what he was going to do to finally contribute to it. I told him that he is fighting the natural order of growing and changing by staying stagnant, by putting himself before his children, by not sacrificing for his family.

I had begun to feel like I failed. Which is why I re-evaluated everything, everything I have done. I did not fail nor will I fail. I talked, I asked, I listened when he would finally talk. I tried and tried. I gave those chances. I followed our blueprint. I am still following my portion plus, school, work, and creating a business. I am not happy and the only way I can be happy is to make that happiness for myself and remove things or people from life that are not contributing to that happiness. I began changing, becoming more individual in my goals after a while. I want success; not just for me but for my children. I want them to be led by individuals that are strong positive influences in their lives. In my heart I have a small glimmer of hope, but in my head, I know the answer to the inevitable, he wont change and he will let it go just like his army career and everything around him.

This has been a hard process to push through. I did everything I could think of, without any response. It cannot be acceptable to stay in a situation that constantly causes a financial struggle, or has not trust or deep communication.

This is my heart, me, exposed, but I know I am on the right path for my children and myself. I hope he will join along, however, I do not know that anymore.

Thanks for taking the time to read this friends.


Friday, June 29, 2012

*Graphic Heavy Post* My Pieces of Me Album

Hello Friends! I am feeling pretty awesome, I finished my Pieces of Me album! I will Keep it pretty simple here as I can't seem to figure out how to make a slideshow of them. Enjoy!


Thursday, June 28, 2012

Working on my Pieces of Me: Psoriatic Arthropathy

Hello Friends, Happy Thursday!
I have finishing up my "My Pieces of Me" album from the 2peas class. One of the sections is about an ailment I have been dealing with my whole life. It was not until I reached 18 that my doctors suspected I had Psoriatic Arthropaty. What? Pretty much means I have a skin condition that correlates with my joints and gradually will distort these joints over time. The condition has been livable, except for the birth of the baby, then everything hurt all of the time until the near end of 2011. I just have a picture of my right hand here. If you will notice my joints are already deforming. What does it feel like? Most days it doesn't phase me right now. However, when I am feeling is bad. I almost can barely used my hands, bend my knees or elbows, and I ache in every joint. We are working everyday towards solutions. Believe me when I tell you this is my hand at its best! It started when I was a baby on my back and chest. Than it went away. In 7th grade it appeared on my shins. At 18 it appeared on my knees and elbows. At 25 it began to appear on my hands and ankles. At 28 in my ears causing scaring which has diminished my hearing considerably in the past few years.  At 29 on my scalp and eyebrows. Once a year I try to address it and share sources of information that I think might be helpful to anyone out there that may be experiencing the same condition. 

Just a few Links for info:


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Run do not Walk!!!

Over to Freckled Fawn and catch my DIY washi ribbon tutorial being featured :) Me featured! The lovely doe is such a sweet gal and was very excited to see my washi ribbon pictures. I knew I was going to make a tutorial but what a better way to share. So hurry Run don't walk and get on over there to see it! Share the washi love ;)

Here is the link to the tutorial at Freckled Fawns Blog!!! Also check out the ohDEERme sneak peek for July! I will be getting it for sure this time!

I also have a page that I created using SC's Newport add-on from is reveal day and I managed to snag what I wanted at the presale! I kept it low key this month as my heart desired the stamp in 3 but nothing else...but I did notice that there is a digital file for the stamps in brushes, that will be in my cart later this month. Just a sweet page with journaling inspired by Allison Wakens page on the SC blog from June 23rd
I also broke into my stamps for the July class at SC...I couldn't wait....
By the way have you purchase FF's doilies? If not well, I think you should beautifully detailed, durable, and very cost friendly :) I used the 4in French Lace Doily!

Now here is a template, I was sort of distracted and have two more in the process so those will be up ASAP! Enjoy Scrap Efficient Template No. 9.

Ok Now I really need to get off of the computer and start rounding up to head over to my mom's I had to post-pone until I ordered my kits, My family is quickly learning that there are specific dates I cannot miss in life ;)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Need some oars...

Man the rain, the slow tropical storm Debby has brought us lots of rain, and I complain, when really I pray that it does not damage much when ever it get where it is going...The rain is great, however, 5 days of it gets tiresome when all you want to do is go outside and play or do photography shoots. In the meantime I have been working on pages and today I received my latest Freckled Fawn order ;) so to get to using it. There are only 5 days left to June and I have so many projects I am finishing up and beginning. Most of which I wont photograph until there are brighter days. How you guys fairing out there?
Tapes and doilies and another few in my basket which ones hmmm
Yup just waiting for the 1st and the July pre-sale for the newest kit ;)
My first ever two-pager....
My little one Mowing the lawn (for pretend)
My big boy holding Rose our kitten surrounded by my hubby, MIL, and SIL
Well, that is all for today, I am hoping to catch a movie with my hubby which means I need to get off the computer ;) Check back tomorrow I have a few templates for you since I have been slacking...

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Washi Tape to go

Today I want to share a fun way to take your washi to go. I mean really, we are bustling out the door with our supplies to crop and we realize that there are several washi tapes we really want to bring, but than the mind changes and we are stuck bringing almost everything. Ok I really had this moment once, but I have been doing something different for quite a while now and is easy to expand as my collection of washi grows. I call it washi to go, am I the first person to come up with fact I know my friend Ursula over at scarlet bird designs gave some washi on a stick away back in November. But for me I think it is genius combined with a pencil box all ready to go.

I take 1 foot of each tape I have and wind them on craft sticks, I have them organized by color or type. I have my whole collection with me when I go, and I am not stuck changing my mind a million times ;). Nothing fancy but enjoy the pictures.

 I currently have 60 types of washi in my jar now. I have about another 20 on the way most of that lot is from my friends over at Freckled Fawn in which there are now several more I need/ no not want/ need ;)


Friday, June 22, 2012

Photo Magic

I love photography...heck that is why I am going into business for myself ;) I just wanted to share a little photo magic. Getting ready for the weekend here and it is a rainy icky day and I think I will take a nap :)

I love taking a photograph to the next level and sharing my captured moment in the way I saw it in my mind. :)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Washi Ribbons and Organization oh My!

I have been working on creating a new chore system for my oldest boy. I also have recently been working on little gifts for friends. Washi was my answer! I used washi tape to create a fun tag chore system that I encouraged my boy to help me make. I sent him in my washi jar to pick out a bunch of his favorites, the majority can be found at Freckled Fawn, my favorite place for washi! Here are some pictures from our adventures!
The picks from my kiddo and my favorites in my stash available at Freckled Fawn

The chore board with pockets! The big boy helped with everything!

My big Boy stamping!

The chore cards tagged to match each pocket!
It was great to get him involved and create chores that were doable and presented in a fun way! I also need to create miniature boxes for a friend for a few trinkets. I thought that making washi ribbon would be great. I used wax paper several washi favorites, and imagination. Enjoy! I will create a tutorial soon!
All my pretty ribbons lined up in a row!

These are easy to knock out!

The little trinket box :)

I made more for myself Keep posted for simple tutorial soon :)
That is all for today my friends!